It has been 3 weeks since I finished work, I can't say I have noticed or feel sad that I left as I was only in the office 1 day a week towards the end but I have to admit that I miss working, like really miss it. I miss using my brain, well what was left after having Sidney, I miss the office conversations. I miss the calmness, work was less crazy even if it didn't seem like it at times, the commute was an occasional nightmare when I was in the office but at the moment I am struggling, I am tired and drained. I don't feel bad for saying this as I am being honest but Sidney is breaking me, okay its not just him, this whole stay at home mum thing and most of the time Sid is happy, lovely, just full of character and I absolutely adore him but its the whining and the tantrums I am having day in day out with him, teething isn't helping (yep the four bastard back teeth that take forever!) and I know I am not alone in feeling like this and that this is completely normal behaviour for a 2.5 year old and some people just get on with it but it is so much more worse since I have been off work, may be he his pushing me to go back to work as he likes the break with Nannie!
When I was on maternity leave I wanted to be a full time mum, I wanted redundancy then but it never happened and so I went back to work part time, because financially I had to if I wanted to buy myself things, have holidays and meals out etc. So I went to work and slipped straight back in to my role. I loved working again and I looked forward to spending those days I had off with Sidney. It is true what people say, that you appreciate them more, of course I did before I went back and I still do now I have finished, but even more so when I had that time apart from him. I think he did as well. I loved it when I came home from work and I see his little face light up when he first sees me!
I have been looking for part time work, I am not ready for full time plus childcare costs are not cheap, we have one day covered with the in laws but I don't earn a massive amount to justify the difference for the other 4 days, and I enjoy the one or two days a week with just me and Sid. I have something exciting in the pipeline that I am working on at the moment which I am hoping will take off very soon and all will be revealed shortly but for now I am looking for a job a few days a week to give me some pocket money (basically shoes and clothes money!) and most importantly so I don't feel like I am going doolally!!
I believe that Happy Mummy = Happy Baby and I am trying not to forget that!
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